Mrs. DePrived sued Jesus

Unusual court case: Mrs. De Prived Vs. Church, Bible and Jesus

Mrs. De Prived filed a law suit in a U.S. District Court, in which she named as defendants: Her church, the Bible, and Jesus Christ. She asked for a judgement of five million dollars ($ 5,000,000.00), an amount that was equal to half their previous net worth.

The following was a short version of what took place in Court.

Judge:
You cannot sue the Bible, and, most definitely, you cannot sue Jesus Christ.

Mrs. DP:
Your Honor, I can prove that the Bible and Jesus were responsible.

Judge:
Very well, proceed. God, please help me.

Mrs. DP:
Your Honor, it's like this ...
We live in a community property state, and whatever property a married couple owns is divided into equal halves. We were rich, until two weeks ago, after our morning church service.

Judge:
Please elaborate.

Mrs. DP:
The sermon was based on "eternal life", and the pastor used Matthew 19 as the main reference. In particular, he emphasized

Matthew 19:21 "Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me."

Matthew 19:24 "And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

Matthew 19:29 "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."

Judge:
That was what I was taught in Sunday School as well.

Mrs. DP:
Yes, but my husband took the sermon literally. He sold everything we owned and gave all the money to the church. He never consulted me, and half of what he gave away was mine. I like my church, but I now have 5 million reasons to like it less. My husband gave away my $5,000,000.00.

You see ...

If Jesus had not said what Matthew wrote down, then the preacher would not have been able to quote it.

If the preacher had not used that in the sermon, then the message would not have been delivered.

Consequently, my husband would not have given away the ten million dollars to our church. I want my money back. I suggest the church give it back to me so that its entire congregation would have eternal life.

Judge: Hmmmm ....